this one I wrote for my dad and read at his funeral
"My Daddy"
"My Daddy"
Life hasn't been the same
without you
I am lost
a l o n e
Every night as I lay awake
I think of you
and c r y
I feel as if tiny bits and
pieces of my sould are
being ripped out of me,
chewed,
and spit
The anguish I feel toward
those who separated us is
exploding
inside me
Although it's unknown
when I'll see you again
I'll tell you this:
You made my life different in many ways
You called me beautiful
You gave me hope
You gave me extra love
and extra attention
We'd sit together all day
watching cartoons and
eating donuts
I remember the first time we met
I didn't know what you
looked like, but yet I
knew you
I looked around the crowded room
You were there, sipping coffee
Instantly, I'm at a run
charging toward you
I hope in your lap
and give you a hug
You give me a smile and
said, "I love you, Hapstin"
Now I'll tell you again what I said
I love you, Daddy.
.
"A Stereotypical View of Beauty"
Every night I'd cry into my pillow
Wishing I could look different
I longed for beauty, but
what I didn't know
Is that I had it all along
Beyond the glasses
Beyond the bad haircut
I was beautiful
Outside as well as in
Beauty is exactly big eyes,
a nice smile, and bouncy hair
I had my own beauty
my faults added character
My inner beauty consisted of
kindness and love to everyone
I had different characteristics
of beauty
I was myself.
Now my beauty has transformed
into the stereotypical view
I grew out my hair,
lost my glasses,
filled out,
and grew.
I can only hope the main
source of beauty remained:
my heart
I hope I treat others well
I hope I am kind
I'm not shy anymore
I'm comfortable around guys
I'm more mature
Now it is easier to look back
and call myself beautiful-
It always is.
.
"In The Air"
The look you gave me
there on the dance floor
Was enough to make
my heart melt
you took me in your arms
timid at first
Then you held me tighter
my heart beating wildly
I am entranced
deep within your eyes
Unable to think any other thought
besides you
Your mouth longed for mine
but was shy
Mine wasn't
My lips were sweetened
by the taste of yours
A smile forms on my face
when I think of you
Whe we talk, you always
manage to astound me
Your smile sends tingling
sensations all over
Your sweet voice makes me
talk for hours with you
This love will soon fade
but for now,
I'm happy.
.
"Love"
Just being with them
The feeling I get
Them holding me close
Everything is set
Our closeness together
Is everything great
One could imagine
When staying out late
I dread the time
When we will part
You've permanantly engraved
Your name in my heart
I hold you tight
The intense feeling I know
Is making you whisper
"I'll never let go"
The smell of your hair
Seduces my mind
The taste of your lips
None other I'll find
Your big, rough hands
Explore places unknown
Although previously discovered
As your eye tends to roam
The love that I feel
At this exact moment
Makes my head spin
And make a covent
Please reply that
You love me too
However, you didn't
So my heart broke and
F L E W...
.
"Addicted to You"
One thing you can't imagine
Is how I feel for you
Seeing yoru smile
Hearing your laugh
Makes me feel weak
Inferior to you
I like that feeling
I want to be lost
In your big, strong arms
I want to be surrounded
By your scent
I want to be controlled
Dominated by you
You have me under your spell
I'll do what you want
I'll say what you want
I'll be who you want
My heart aches for you
By the amount of passion
it holds for you
Your eyes seduce me
Leaving me
a l o n e
You walk by
Your scent floats to me
As I inhale deeply
My feelings grow stronger
I watch you walk away
You don't look back
My heart is screaming
your name
Knowing your ears will not hear
Hoping your heart will
But you keep walking
Far away from me
You send a glance
Toward my way
Mocking me
For my "obsession"
You stand there
Listening to my words
L A U G H I N G
How can you be so cold?
I confess my love to you
But you feel nothing
I need your love
And you have none to give me
I'm not suprised
My life is like that
Love won't be mine
My heart is forever broken
I don't need you though
Your love isn't life
But yet, I still need you
I'm not that strong
You make me weaker
I have an addiction
to you.
.
this one is for my sister, Katrina
"Just Like You"
I always admired you
The peaceful one
The pretty one
The funny one
I always wanted to be
Just like you
In every aspect of your life
You were perfect
You're always caring
Never worried about what
others think
You're yourself
Knowing others envy you
But your mind
remains clear
The guys I want
Like you more
Because you don't fake it
You're the same
No one comes close
to you
you surpass everyone
with your beauty
with your brain
with your voice
Jealousy blinds my eyes
and clouds my brain
The evil things I say
The evil things I do
are all caused
by this.
True friends
f l y
to you
while I can't find
a single
one
If only I were
just like you